Everyday: Hiding in Blue
by Tenshisonnet
Summary: 3x4; Trowa leaves his unhappy life into a new world without the baggage.


Everyday

"Hiding in Blue"

Pairing: 4x3

Completed: April 2002 May write more later.

Author's Notes: I don't own GW. or Dave Matthews. I was kind of inspired by the song "everyday" by Dave Matthews.

Everything was blue and green. Not the harsh human blue of royal, but the soft, light aquamarine lay itself upon everything tangible. The soft blues tucked themselves away from the rest of the décor. One form of blue drifted slowly down the enormous green stairway across the corners of the great forest halls and into the intimate sovereign room of light green. The discontented blue strode past the stiff guards and sat beside the blind green man. The older green sat before the blue and green waterfall in the decadently laid gold and brown chair that carved over eighteen hundred years of the green's bloodline. The harsh, ancient eyes of the green curved around the blue's form in a leisurely fashion. The booming voice left its silhouette in every crevice of the blue. "Is your son happy?"

Limply, the blue's eyes fled into the spiral of the green's voice. "Gjahu."

"Is your mistress happy?" he demanded patiently.

He refused to get into the same old argument. She was his way to get the green off of his back, out of his skin. "Gjahu."

"Your heir and love are happy, why is that gap in your heart not closing? Do I not give you enough? Do I not let you harbor your anguish in this castle? What is the source of this inactivity?"

"I lack the love. I've lived without it for many years," he answered obediently.

"Is my love not enough?"

"Your love is paternal and nil."

He grunted angrily. "You do not love your mistress or your son?"

"No. I was pacifying you by having a child. I do not love my mistress."

The green became silently, his movements slower. "And you made such a fuss about Quatre, too. I will discuss this with you later. After dinner, come back to my quarters."

The blue left to see his Gelflingbird. Halfway through the castle, in the center of everything lie the huge cage of animals. Exotic and local, the beasts never attacked the blue. The wondrous partial maritime bird floated gleefully toward him every time he entered the silvery cage. Today was no different. The huge canary avis perched its slender clawed feet upon its master's shoulders. She was light in weight and in heart. After a soft nuzzle to the cheek, the avis proudly straightened its tail feathers behind his back. As long as he was tall, the feathers caressed the back of its disgruntled master. He walked over to the gargantuan waterfall untouched by elven hands. Sitting on the edge lost in thought, the blue brought the long tail feathers over his other shoulder caressing them mindlessly. The yellow cooed at him to awake him from his thoughts, but it did not stop him from drifting off again.

After a few moments, a blonde from outside of the cage awoke him. The blonde was staring out of his trance like a blade before his face. Those big blue eyes stared through him and his troubles as he had before. Ever since the child was born, that stared didn't feel the same on him. It seemed more like inspection, no love linger when he stared back. The blue's eyes diverted to the tail of the bird. He looked pained at the loitering feeling in his chest. He didn't love the blonde anymore, but there he was, hurting again.

The blonde approached him with baited breath. "Love, something's wrong isn't it?" 

He refused to look into those eyes, big and inviting. If he looked at those eyes, then he'd look at the ears. If he looked at the ears, he'd look at the rest of his body. If he did that, his heart might end up tied up in it. "Nothing's wrong," he pet the long feathers in his hands.

"Dsafil! I can see it around you, inside you," he whispered the last part. His mouth pushed, "Tell me what's wrong."

"You're excused, Quatre. You can go now," he spat.

"Miqdar, not until you tell me what's wrong," he step in front of him with a grunt.

"Your tone is tempering my hand," he rose his hand up in a backhanding fashion. "Now go."

The avis gripped onto his shoulder tightly and hissed through his feathers at the boy. The blue smirked at his loyalty.

He turned around to leave and muttered, "You know where I am if you need me."

With that the conversation ended and the bird relaxed. He caressed the bird's head and tail in a continuos motion. "Quatre," he breathed.

He headed back from diner sated and alone. Nothing felt right anymore. Eating seemed foreign, crazy. Feeling seemed unnatural. Feeling anything but lust and hatred became unimaginable. His feet led him back to his father's room as instructed. 

The greens and blue of the day faded into grays and reds. The throne became wicked and black behind his father's head, but soon, it became soothing to the old brown. The old green too turned into a soft gray from the top of his graying dark hair to the tips of his thickly woven gown. The harsh eyes melted into forest swirled with butterflies of all colors. The inviting change put him near his father's feet. "Choji."

"Indeed, I now understand your sadness. Images of your melancholy mother jumped into my consciousness after you left. She'd always look at me as if she would have chosen a different, wilder path if her father didn't choose me as her mate. Only in death did I let he go. I see now I must let you go into the greater world outside of our own to find your passion, even your love. This is why I've chosen you to deliver a present to the prince of the pale ones across the sea. I have made a pact with them. It will take half a year to get there and half a year to get back. If all goes well, you will not come back."

The blue one raised his head to find his father's plan in his eyes. "What do you mean, Choji?"

"You must find your love, your passion before youarrive to the castle of the pale ones. If you can't,you cannot return home."

"But why. Choji? Will they kill me or something?" he asked.

"That is all you need to know, my dear boy. You must depart by daybreak or the court will know. Preparations will be made. Your horse will be waiting at the gate of the city with all the things you need for the trip. You will be of plain class for this trip nothing except the gift will be of tremendous value on your person. If you are caught in enemy territory, nothing is to lead them back here. Do you understand?"

Everything told him not to agree, but he had to. He nodded.

"Good. Get going," he handed the boxed gift to the blue.

He turned out of the room quickly. He only had a few hours to prepare the next year of his life.

After a couple hours of fretting and weeding through things he owned; he retired to the grand cage of resting animals. Creeping over thorns, teeth, claws, and fur, he reached the feathered beast he loved like a sibling. The yellow creature was awaken by the sound of her master's steps. Immediately, she flew over to him from her perch on a walberry tree. He held her on his forearm before his face. Their eyes met, keeping hold of each other for an immeasurable moment. They both knew what was to come. In her eye she could see he would never return home.

Preparing to leave with his bird, he spotted a familiar patch of yellow. He sat the bird on her perch and waited, hiding his scowl. Hate ignited in the pit of his stomach. He began to speak as if in the middle of a story, "It was nice at first, the feeling, the sensation of you near me. After time, after the child, I thought of you how a madman cries over a dissipating dream. I began to hate you. I still hate you."

The blonde stepped out from his post behind a ferned rock a few feet away. Silently, he held back from crying over spilt words.

"You made me feel, Quatre," he admitted as he took up the collar of the boy's tunic. His grip pulled the boy closer to the coloring face. "I was fine, content until you came into town with your old master. I bought you because I fell in love with you in that very spot. You made me feel, Quatre!" He threw him to the ground. "Then my child was born. I'd done what I needed to do here. There is an heir. Now I can leave, without you to make me feel."

"You're leaving?" he repeated in disbelief.

"Did you think you've have me here forever to play with my mind? Bond to your will? Forget it. I'm leaving to find someone to make me happy. Someone who will love only me. Do you understand that concept, Quatre?"

He stood up and brushed himself off proudly. He was tired of being humble. "I went to him to get love. Love! Do you understand that concept? You never even once showed me how or if you loved me. Like you said, 'someone to love only me'. You never acted like you cared. Never! I may be someone else's bedmate, but I'm also his only love!"

"It doesn't matter anymore," he cooled down. "This is goodbye."

Quatre stood as if his own family had died before him, welling up. He ran for the blue's body one last time. Through half-happy tears, he held him tightly to his chest. "I'll miss you. You know I will."

In that moment, the blonde also knew he wasn't returning home ever again, because the other boy held him back. "I'll miss you, too."

With a final breath of each other's scent, they pressed lips firmly in a bruising kiss. Mixed feelings and flavors filled the embrace; finally, they could let go of each other and grow separately.

The blue let go of his old treasure and perched the bird on his arm to pick up the last bit of belongings he would need for his journey. Not looking back until he reached his horse before dawn, he inhaled the last bit of home.

TBC. . .. 


End file.
